This Family is practicing TM

Following my quadruple bypass, things seemed to go well for a bit. Then they didn’t. My blood pressure kept misbehaving and the doctor kept tweaking the meds and now I’m on what I call my ABCs – Ace inhibitor, Beta blocker and Calcium channel blocker plus a statin for my cholesterol. Along with that, issues with my twins were escalating. They haven’t really been friends since they were toddlers. They could and did argue about anything and everything. And problems between them got worse after my bypass.

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Things escalated significantly toward the end of the school year, especially with my daughter. I won’t go into detail here, but multiple folks said she needed to be seeing a counselor. I did a lot of research and found a lot of information that provided insight into what was going on with her. We talked. She said she would go to a counselor because I could make her go. But she wouldn’t talk and I wouldn’t be able to make her talk.

During my research, I came across the book Transcendence: Healing and Transformation Through Transcendental Meditation by Norman E. Rosenthal. I remembered TM as something I had looked into back in the ’70s. I hadn’t followed through on it for a variety of reasons. But I downloaded the book to the Kindle app on my iPad and read it. I was astounded by the amount of research that had been done on TM. I checked the TM website and made an appointment for me and the twins.

We did the four day training program – 1-1/2 hours each for four days – over the 4th of July weekend. This wasn’t a simple commitment – it’s a 2-1/2 hour roundtrip drive from my home in the mountains to the closest training center.

On the first day, I spent the entire drive turning over my shoulder telling the twins to quit arguing; quit fighting; keep your hands to yourself; quit shouting; etc. Remember, they are 13; I’ve never thought that I should still be experiencing that kind of behavior.

By the fourth day, they were actually cheerful during the trip. The three of us played the license plate game during the drive. Each way. It was an enjoyable time. My oldest son and my mom and sister noticed the improvement over the four days.

Since then, we have been back for our biweekly checking on schedule. This will last for four months and then whenever we feel we need it again.

 I have to tell you, the twins actually sit and simply talk with each other now. They laugh together. They collapse together on the couch to watch television. (I generally limit that to an hour a day.) My daughter and I now talk routinely and she shares thoughts and feelings. As a Dad, that is so much sweeter than just being tolerated. I don’t claim to understand it all; but, I’m learning and she’s sharing and we are now a lot closer because of it.

Dinner time is enjoyable. We talk now. I don’t spend that precious time telling them to quit fighting, arguing, shouting or any of the other behaviors I kept trying to stop.

What’s different? We meditate. In the morning, I meditate before I leave for work and the twins meditate when they wake up. We’re talking about a schedule for when the school year starts. In the evening, the three of us meditate together.

That’s it. Transcendantal Meditation. Twice a day.

There is no way to convey how astounded I am at how effective this has been for our family. I let the twins read this and this is the comment my daughter wanted to add:

During my experiences with TM I’ve found that many things have happened. My relationships with my brother and my dad have improved. My brother and I have become  close, and my dad and I, closer. TM is an easy process that anyone can do. I’m glad that we are doing this, because now I enjoy life at my house.

Anytime we have a 13 year old girl saying she enjoys life at her house, I believe we’re on the right track.

Part 6 – Eleven days after my Quadruple Bypass

As you may know, I had quadruple bypass surgery on 18 January; that was necessary after I failed my cardiac catheterization test back on the 7th. I was discharged from the hospital on the 23rd. In this post, I’ll try and recap how my first week at home has been going. Prior to this, and…

Part 5, My thoughts following bypass surgery

The first four parts of this series have all had the title start with “But, Doc, I feel fine.” Today I’m not using that approach because, truthfully, I don’t feel fine. I’ve lost track of the number of people who told me that I would feel so much better when this procedure was done. But…

But Doc, I feel fine – Part 4, Bypass surgery preparation

This is Part 4 of a (no longer short) series on my interactions with the medical profession and my blood pressure (BP). If you haven’t read it yet, Part 1 describes my belief that my BP will be okay When the stress goes away. Following that, Part 2 covered my regular semi-annual meeting with the doctor…

But Doc, I feel fine – Part 3, Cardiac Catheterization

This is Part 3 of a (hopefully) short series with my interactions with the medical profession and my blood pressure (BP). If you haven’t read it yet, Part 1 describes my belief that my BP will be okay When the stress goes away. Following that, Part 2 covered my regular semi-annual meeting with the doctor where…

But Doc, I feel fine – Part 2, Except…

This is Part 2 of a (hopefully) short series with my interactions with the medical profession and my blood pressure (BP). If you haven’t read it yet, Part 1 describes my belief that my BP will be okay When the stress goes away. As I mentioned at the end of that post, I’ve spent the…

But Doc, I feel fine – Part 1, When the stress goes away

This is part one of (hopefully) a short series with my interactions with the medical profession and my blood pressure. For most of my life, I’ve been quite healthy. My blood pressure (BP) problems didn’t start until after I had kids. More accurately, they started after the twins were born (they’re 12 now) and after…

Single Parenting – Where Do You Start?

When I checked my email last week, I found a contact form that had been submitted from my blog. The author wrote “I am about a week away from having custody of my 6 year old daughter and 2 1/2 year old son. I need to know how to handle the first year or so…

Thud, Silence, then the Scream

Anyone who has been around small children is likely more than familiar with hearing a Thud. The Thud can occur at any time after a child learns to move on their own. I’m not going to talk about the accidents that can occur when a child rolls over, though. I do want to tell you about…

BlogWorld & New Media Expo – Why I want to be there

If you’ve seen me on Facebook or on Twitter, you have seen me use the Twitter hashtag #DadsTalking (I prefer to capitalize just so no one suspects me of nefarious activities if it appears as #dadstalking.) #DadsTalking consists of a bunch of Dads (and some Moms) who share a common characteristic (all Dads, and a…