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On Sex Education – and the Single Dad

If you came to this page because you thought I was going to talk about sex, you might want to leave now. It’s not. It’s about the sex education of me and my kids.

I was still married to my second wife when my oldest son was young. When it came time for sex education, the job fell to me anyway because he was a boy. No problem. As I guy myself, I’d already been there. I was confident and didn’t feel obligated to do any research. In hindsight, that was wrong! And, he might tell you that the information he got from me was either wrong or incomplete.

My role as a single dad started when the oldest was 11 and the twins were not yet 2-1/2. When the time came to have the ‘talk’ with the twins, I felt none of my earlier confidence because, well, one of the twins is a Girl! So, I talked to my sister and to the school nurse and to the female pediatrician at the Family Practice center.

I did a lot of online research and I ordered five books for her from Amazon. I also got five books for her twin brother at the same time because I have learned that it’s more peaceful here if I’m buying something for each of them.

Now, I’m not really good coping with surprises so I read all 10 books before giving them to the twins. Wow! What a shock!! When I was young, SEX was never discussed in the home. And this was long before they ever had sex education in the schools. My sex education was provided by listening to the older guys at the corner gas station on my way home from school.

Reading those books, I found out that stuff I have known for 50 years, I have known WRONG the entire time. I’ve been married twice and no one has ever corrected me.

So, I arranged each set of books into a specific sequence and then gave them to the twins. I also took them out to a private lunch individually so we could talk about the changes that were coming. I emphasized to them that if they have questions, they need to come to me -If I know the answer, I’ll tell you; if not, I’ll find the answer. I also stressed that they should not go their friends with questions because their friends won’t know any more than they do.

In the weeks and months that followed, they each had the occasional question. My daughter had the most. Many times, she would bring one of the books to me opened to a page way in the last half of the book and start with “I think I…”. I had to keep reminding her that she was still back in Stage 1 but the time would come soon enough.

If you’re interested, here is a partial list of books I purchased with (affiliate) links to the books at Amazon:
For son:

For daughter:

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  • toostormy

    Good read. Nice logo, too.

  • Mike CJ

    Nicely handled. I have to admit to having left my wife to deal with the daughter while I had the embarrassed conversation with my son. It's something every parent dreads, but we all have to go through.

  • Lynne Phillips

    Good to see you blogging! Excellent way of handling the talk and what comes!

  • James Fowlkes

    Thanks for sharing your story, Bob.
    As you know, I have two daughters, so I placed a couple of your book recommendations into my Amazon cart for later.
    Oh, and welcome to the blogosphere! 🙂

  • MrMomWorld

    Thanks, Gail. The logo was designed by your nephew. There is a link to more of his artwork just bellow the logo.

  • MrMomWorld

    Mike, Thanks. You've outlined the circumstances that I think most guys, and ladies, expect will be the method for handling that training. It's truly a learning experience!

  • MrMomWorld

    Lynne, I am having fun. I have a lot of thoughts – and opinions – that I hope some folks will enjoy.

  • MrMomWorld

    Thanks, James. Your family is lovely and I know you're happy. Glad I could be of help. One day I'll have an Amazon affiliate agreement…

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  • Single Dad

    Thanks for sharing your post…Good luck Bob!…

  • Michelle

    I admire how you’ve handled all this! Your kids are really lucky to have a dad that is so open and honest. I love this post. In fact, I love your whole blog. Your honesty is refreshing and I will most certainly now be a dedicated follower. 

    Last week, my 7 year old son ambushed me with the “where did I come from?” question. Thought I’d share the conversation 😉