Following my quadruple bypass, things seemed to go well for a bit. Then they didn’t. My blood pressure kept misbehaving and the doctor kept tweaking the meds and now I’m on what I call my ABCs – Ace inhibitor, Beta blocker and Calcium channel blocker plus a statin for my cholesterol. Along with that, issues with my twins were escalating. They haven’t really been friends since they were toddlers. They could and did argue about anything and everything. And problems between them got worse after my bypass.
Things escalated significantly toward the end of the school year, especially with my daughter. I won’t go into detail here, but multiple folks said she needed to be seeing a counselor. I did a lot of research and found a lot of information that provided insight into what was going on with her. We talked. She said she would go to a counselor because I could make her go. But she wouldn’t talk and I wouldn’t be able to make her talk.
During my research, I came across the book Transcendence: Healing and Transformation Through Transcendental Meditation by Norman E. Rosenthal. I remembered TM as something I had looked into back in the ’70s. I hadn’t followed through on it for a variety of reasons. But I downloaded the book to the Kindle app on my iPad and read it. I was astounded by the amount of research that had been done on TM. I checked the TM website and made an appointment for me and the twins.
We did the four day training program – 1-1/2 hours each for four days – over the 4th of July weekend. This wasn’t a simple commitment – it’s a 2-1/2 hour roundtrip drive from my home in the mountains to the closest training center.
On the first day, I spent the entire drive turning over my shoulder telling the twins to quit arguing; quit fighting; keep your hands to yourself; quit shouting; etc. Remember, they are 13; I’ve never thought that I should still be experiencing that kind of behavior.
By the fourth day, they were actually cheerful during the trip. The three of us played the license plate game during the drive. Each way. It was an enjoyable time. My oldest son and my mom and sister noticed the improvement over the four days.
Since then, we have been back for our biweekly checking on schedule. This will last for four months and then whenever we feel we need it again.
I have to tell you, the twins actually sit and simply talk with each other now. They laugh together. They collapse together on the couch to watch television. (I generally limit that to an hour a day.) My daughter and I now talk routinely and she shares thoughts and feelings. As a Dad, that is so much sweeter than just being tolerated. I don’t claim to understand it all; but, I’m learning and she’s sharing and we are now a lot closer because of it.
Dinner time is enjoyable. We talk now. I don’t spend that precious time telling them to quit fighting, arguing, shouting or any of the other behaviors I kept trying to stop.
What’s different? We meditate. In the morning, I meditate before I leave for work and the twins meditate when they wake up. We’re talking about a schedule for when the school year starts. In the evening, the three of us meditate together.
That’s it. Transcendantal Meditation. Twice a day.
There is no way to convey how astounded I am at how effective this has been for our family. I let the twins read this and this is the comment my daughter wanted to add:
During my experiences with TM I’ve found that many things have happened. My relationships with my brother and my dad have improved. My brother and I have become close, and my dad and I, closer. TM is an easy process that anyone can do. I’m glad that we are doing this, because now I enjoy life at my house.
Anytime we have a 13 year old girl saying she enjoys life at her house, I believe we’re on the right track.
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